Thursday, August 31, 2006

GNI -- I love you

To continue the adventure theme: the third week was the best of all. That’s when my friend Jason and I attended the Gay Naturists International annual gathering. GNI is a longstanding organization promoting naturism and more.

As S. said to me as we stood in the dining hall, “I don’t know why you waited so long.” S. knows something about him and knew all along this would be something I love – but he never pushed. A characteristic of this movement – it’s all in your own good time.

Truly, after I got there, neither do I know why I waited so long. It was a fantastic experience and I’ll make some plans for next time.

We arrived at the Pocono retreat in the early evening. The place was idyllic. Beautiful rolling green fields, a lake, volleyball courts, two pools, and men, men, men – all nude and all friendly.
Being a first timer at this event, my first glimpse of the scene had the feeling of fantasy about it. I spied men walking in the distance, no clothing between them and the wind. Men sitting under trees having lively conversations. Men moving from cabin to cabin, strolling about the grounds, just standing about. None of them wearing a stitch. And the peaceful air of contentment which pervaded the place was hypnotic.

When Jose helped us with directions to our cabin, I was hooked. He was adorable and his deep brown eyes never strayed from mine as he spoke to me. The scarf around his neck and his name tag was all he wore – that and a pretty smile.

The temperature was perfect, the guys looked great and so I knew this was the place for me. If only it were a permanent settlement!

We made our way to the assigned cabin and, my heart fluttering just a little, climbed the steps to meet our cabin mates. We were greeted even before we reached the top of the steps. J. our cabin coordinator and the others welcomed us warmly and made us feel comfortable immediately.

After all of the preliminaries, including dragging our bags, choosing our bunks, and removing our clothes – we were ready for the first night. And what a night.

The opening parade of organizations, introductions of GNI staff, and Carol Channing to entertain – while all of us sat there, bare as babies and feeling good.

All the butterflies had left my stomach and flew somewhere else, all my tiny trepidations scattered to the wind. I have to say that I approached the GNI gathering with just a little nervousness. Not being one of the gym-sculpted elite (not yet anyway), I imagined fields of such men and wondered how I’d feel among them.

It will suffice to say that although I’d been bopping around various clothing optional venues over the years and seeing men whose bodies were less than the standard gym-bunny physique, I still had issues with myself. At clothing optional places you still have the comfort of knowing that you can cover up if you want. Was I ready to throw that safety-towel away? Would I be able to love myself the way I should?

Finally having the courage to attend a GNI gathering, due in no small part to my best friend Jason, proved to me that I am ready. Probably have been ready for longer than I even knew myself. It just took the gentle push that Jason gave. And there I was, cock to the wind, a smile and a badge.

I have to say that GNI ranks up there as one of the best things I’ve done for myself. Yeah, yeah, I know – going to a nudist camp one of the “best” things. But really. You have to learn to love yourself. You have to force yourself to know that you are worth as much as anyone else.
I listen to and read a lot of Louise Hay’s work – and as encouraging as she can be, it’s still tough implementing her lessons. But when you do, it’s worth all the effort.

GNI is like that – maybe there’s a bit of hesitation, maybe the butterflies are as big as tanks, but once you cross that line there’s no going back and you learn that it is easier to love yourself than not.

Well, there’s more to the GNI story and that’ll be in the next post.

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